ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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