I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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