apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
