Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
pray to the hookup gods
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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