I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
