I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
