we have pet lesbian snakes
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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