i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
