Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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