arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
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I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
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Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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