I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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