So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
