And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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