wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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