Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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