Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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