so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
