I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
