BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Alive.
So much puke
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
