watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Enjoy the penises
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
