How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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