I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
there was a trapeze. enough said
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
