You just made me feel so damn special
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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