well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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