i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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