You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
