i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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