He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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