i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
