I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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