can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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