Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize