goodnight i made you a song goodbye
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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