Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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