I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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