yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
