she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
