it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
