Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
