rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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