is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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