Pants 0. Shit 1.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
