I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
