she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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