There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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