We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
