So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
