i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
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