Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
