I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i was born a porn star she said
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
