you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
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Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
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You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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