Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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