He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
