it was like his penis was on wheels.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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