I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
