Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
