Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My balls are so social today.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You made out with two different species that night
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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