Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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