what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
